24 | What I Wish I Knew Before I Got Pregnant
12 Things That Surprised Me
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Since announcing my fourth pregnancy, you can expect all the pregnancy, newborn, and birth content coming up! If you have any topic requests or questions, feel free to email me at hello@micaela.ca.
Today, I want to share some things that totally shocked me during my first pregnancy. Now that I’ve been pregnant four times in four years, pregnancy feels more familiar than not being pregnant! But looking back, I remember being completely caught off guard by some of these things. Let me know if your experience was similar!
1. You Don’t Receive or Require Care Right Away
When I first called to book an appointment with a midwife, I was stunned to hear that I wouldn’t be seen for another two months. I had just found out I was pregnant and felt like I needed a professional to confirm it. But unless you have complications, most midwives here in Ontario don’t see you until you’re at least 10 weeks along.
Now, in my later pregnancies, I appreciate this and I’m happy to put off care as long as possible. But the first time, it felt like forever.
2. Ultrasounds Are Not Like the Movies
I always thought ultrasounds were this magical, heartwarming experience where both parents get to see their baby on a big screen together. But in reality, they’re very clinical. Many places don’t allow dads in, the techs are usually all business, and they don’t even show you the baby until the end.
To make up for this, my husband and I went to a 3D ultrasound clinic and had our first ultrasound at a private clinic (it wasn’t a 3D ultrasound, just a regular 2D ultrasound that allowed us to “meet” our baby together). That gave us the warm, movie-like moment I had hoped for.
3. You Might Forget You’re Pregnant
I assumed I’d constantly be thinking about my pregnancy, but I forgot all the time! I’d go about my daily life and suddenly remember, “Oh yeah, I’m growing a human!”
It’s especially funny when you start getting bigger and try squeezing through tight spaces like you did before—only to realize your belly won’t fit!
4. People Will Boldly Comment on Your Belly
Strangers and acquaintances alike will confidently ask about your pregnancy, even when you’re barely showing. Since I’m usually carting around three small kids, I find it hilarious when people assume I’m pregnant so early on. At 9 months postpartum, I could easily be carrying weight from the last time.
I usually try to mention it early on in conversations so people don’t have to ask the awkward question.
5. Pregnancy Is Actually Enjoyable
I expected to hate pregnancy because of how negatively it’s portrayed in movies and online. But to my surprise, I actually love it! My mood is more stable, I’ve only had a handful of periods for years (thanks to close pregnancies and breastfeeding), and I consider it such a blessing to be able to carry life.
Although I try to honor my need for extra rest, I try not to buy into the whole “pregnancy is an excuse to be lazy” mentality. Its harder to stay motivated, but I still take joy in serving my family as I feel up to it.
6. You Might Feel Closer to Your Spouse
There’s something special about carrying your husband’s child. I remember telling mine, “This is the most grown-up thing we’ve ever done.” It makes you feel like an adult in a whole new way, and it forces you to work together as a team to prepare for the arrival of your child.
7. You Might Feel Sorry for Your Spouse
I always feel bad that my husband doesn’t get to experience pregnancy. I get to carry our baby everywhere, feel them move, and have a unique bond and get the empowering experience of birthing our child. He just has to wait and watch and I feel bad for him.
8. You Might Not Feel Instant Love for Your Baby
If you define love as an action, then yes, you love your baby from the start—taking prenatals, avoiding alcohol, going to appointments. But if you mean that warm, fuzzy feeling? That might take time. It’s okay if you don’t feel an instant emotional connection, even when the baby is here. You’re meeting a stranger, and it can take time to feel warm and fuzzy towards them.
9. You Might Grieve the Life You’re Leaving Behind
Before having my first, I loved the freedom of just my husband and me. We could go camping whenever, travel light, and be spontaneous. Even though I was thrilled to become a mom, I had to intentionally process the loss of that season so I could fully embrace the next one.
I still feel this even now—soaking in life as a family of five before we become six. Change is bittersweet, and that’s okay.
10. The Last Few Weeks Feel Like the Craziest Waiting Game
Once you hit 37 weeks, you know your baby could come any day—but you have no idea when. It’s like preparing for a wedding where you don’t know the date or who you’re marrying.
To avoid constant “Is the baby here yet?” questions, I don’t share my exact due date. Instead, I say something vague like, “Baby will be here sometime in August or September.” It saves me a lot of stress!
11. You Might Not Be Ready for Pregnancy to End
As eager as I am to meet my baby, I also get sentimental about pregnancy ending. I love carrying my baby and feeling them move. I even miss being pregnant just days postpartum. It’s such a special season, and I never want to rush through it.
12. You Might Forget You’re Giving Birth
This sounds ridiculous, but during my first birth, I was so focused on contractions that I forgot what it was all for. The moment my daughter was born, my first words were, “Oh my goodness, it’s a baby!”
With my second, I was more aware that I was actually having a baby, and it made the experience more enjoyable. So, my top birth tip? Don’t forget that you’re having a baby!
What did I miss?
If you’ve been pregnant before or are currently expecting, I’d love to hear from you! What surprised you about pregnancy? Did you relate to any of these, or did they seem obvious to you?
Leave a comment or email me at hello@micaela.ca. And if you enjoyed this, be sure to subscribe to the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen—there’s lots more pregnancy and motherhood content coming your way. And if you know a pregnant friend who might appreciate this, send it their way!
