25 | How to Serve Your Husband (While Raising Toddlers)
12 Ways to Love Your Husband This Week
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Let’s be real: some people aren’t going to love this post. We live in a culture that’s all about me, me, me—what I deserve, what I want, what I’m entitled to. So the idea of serving your husband can trigger some big feelings.
I believe God’s design for marriage is one of mutual love and service. I’ve learned that when I stay stuck thinking about what my husband isn’t doing for me or what I deserve, it just leads to bitterness, resentment, and distance. But when I choose to move toward him—even when I feel like pulling away—it changes everything.
So today I want to share twelve simple ways you can serve your husband, even in the busiest seasons of motherhood, when he feels like the last person on your list. These are small things that can have a big impact.
1. Make Him a Hot Meal
Yes, it sounds old-fashioned, but there’s something so loving about preparing a warm meal for your husband after a long day of work. If you’re already in the habit of cooking, take it a step further by asking if he has a favourite he’d love that week.
My #1 tip for staying on top of dinners is this: never cook at 4 p.m. Once 4 o’clock hits, I’m tired, the kids are tired and we’re all just counting down until daddy comes home. Instead, I cook in the morning. Try prepping a crockpot or casserole meal in the morning so it’s ready when your husband gets home.
2. Ask What Matters Most to Him
Maybe your husband doesn’t care as much about dinner being ready. Maybe he would rather walk in to a cup of tea and a few minutes to catch up with you. Maybe it means a lot to him when the couch is free from legos so he can sit and unwind for a few minutes.
My husband told me this past week that a clear entryway makes a big difference to him. I was so glad to hear it! That’s an easy five-minute fix I can usually manage—even if its not until I see his car pull in.
Sometimes the best way to serve is to simply ask what matters most to him.
3. Offer Him Time to Himself
You might spend your weekends wishing your husband would just offer you time to yourself (and of course, be honest about what you need). But if you’re craving it, chances are he is too. You can be the one to go first!
4. Pray for Him
Don’t underestimate this one! Our husbands are leading our families—and that’s a role the enemy loves to attack. Start praying regularly for your husband’s heart, decisions, and spiritual life.
We pray for my husband every morning at breakfast, and it’s been amazing to see how God answers those prayers, especially as we pray for him to have opportunities to share his faith at work.
Prayer is also a great place to go when you're feeling bitter or at odds. Yes, always talk about the hard things—but after that, let prayer take over instead of nagging. Sometimes God changes our husband’s heart. And sometimes, He changes ours.
5. Send a Sweet Note or Text
My husband is a words-of-affirmation guy, so I know this one is a big deal. Whether it’s a sticky note left on the dash or a thoughtful text during the day, small words can make a big difference.
I try to make my texts during the workday life-giving, not draining. It’s so tempting to send little complaints anytime we’re annoyed with something around the home. I try to be really intentional to save those conversations for later and keep the mid-day texts life-giving. Often by the end of the day, I realize those things irritating me didn’t matter so much anyways.
6. Be Honest About What You Need
Let’s ditch the mind-reading myth. Your husband cannot read your mind. Be clear, direct, and kind about what you need. Instead of “I’m really tired,” say something specific like “Could you take the kids for an hour so I can have a nap?”
And if you’ve been holding a grudge because he didn’t guess what you needed, it might be time to apologise and reset.
7. Ditch “How was your day?”
Instead of asking the same old question every night, try this: each of you shares your rose (the highlight), thorn (the hardest part), and bud (what you’re looking forward to).
Even if it’s just a few minutes over dinner, it invites real conversation, and it’s been a game changer in our marriage.
8. Greet Him at the Door
When he gets home, greet him like you’re happy to see him. Put the baby down for a second, step outside if you can, and meet him at the door with a hug and a kiss. It sets the tone for the whole evening and communicates, you matter to me.
9. Leave a Small Surprise in His Car
This is such a fun one—leave a snack, a treat, or a sweet note in his car. I’ve done this on special days like Valentine’s, but I’m reminding myself I could totally do it just because. It’s a simple, thoughtful way to say, I was thinking of you.
10. Speak Well of Him
What you say about your husband matters. I realized early on that people formed opinions about my husband based on what I said. I want to be the kind of wife who builds him up, not tears him down.
Yes, there’s a time and place to process hard things with a trusted friend. This is important. But as a general rule, let’s be wives who honour our husbands in public and in private.
11. Do One of His Chores
Often I leave trash bags and compost bowls outside the door for my husband to deal with when he gets home. He doesn’t usually mind, but the other day I realized if I put them where they go myself, my husband can come straight in and spend a little extra time with me and the kids. I wasn’t expecting him to notice, but he did and was thankful it was one less thing for him to do.
Of course, these things are constantly changing with the stage we’re in, and I know he’ll happily pick these chores back up in a few months when I’m busy with a newborn again, but it’s nice to lighten his load when I can.
12. Assume the Best About Him
Have you ever been stomping around the house searching for the car keys your husband borrowed, livid that he didn’t put them back where they belong, only to find them in your own coat pocket? I know that’s a silly example, but I’ve caught myself doing something like this so many times. It’s so much easier to cast blame than it is to take a look at our own shortcomings.
Whether it’s something small like car keys or something big like an unexpected charge to your bank account, I always want to approach my husband with kindness and curiosity, assuming the best about him.
You Have More Power Than You Think
As wives, we have so much influence. We can choose to be a life-giving presence in our home. Not because our husbands are perfect, not because we feel like it every day, but because love serves.
You don’t have to do all twelve things this week. Just pick one. Start small. And trust that God sees your heart, even if your husband doesn’t notice right away.
Blessings to you and your husband!
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