011 | How to Deal With Mom-Guilt
How to make decisions as a mom of toddlers
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As I look at the moms around me, in person and online, I can’t help but notice the shadow of doubt that Satan has cast over motherhood. There are so many deep-seeded lies from the enemy—whispers that we’re not good moms, that we’re doing it wrong, that we’re going to mess up our children.
But as John 10:10 reminds us, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Satan is after us, mamas. He wants us to doubt our purpose and question our role. But those thoughts? They are not from God. They are lies, meant to steal our joy in motherhood.
One of my deepest prayers is to help moms break free from this guilt and walk confidently in the calling God has given them—to raise their children with love, wisdom, and faith. So today, I want to share some practical steps to help you ditch mom guilt and find peace in the decisions you make as a mom.
1. Take It to God First
If you’ve been struggling with self-doubt and heavy thoughts about motherhood, the very first thing you need to do is take it to God. Talk to Him about how you’re feeling. Pour out your heart and ask Him to guide your thoughts, your perception of yourself, and your decisions for your family.
Ask for freedom from the guilt and for clarity in your role as a mom. You are not doing this alone—He has entrusted you with these precious little ones, and He will equip you to care for them well.
2. Find Your Compass
Once you’ve taken your concerns to God, it’s important to have a clear way to guide your decisions. Think of it as your "mom compass"—the standard by which you evaluate whether or not something is right for your family.
For me, that compass is peace. If I’m making a decision about baby sleep, starting solids, or anything else in motherhood, and I feel peace about it, I move forward. If I feel unsettled, I pause and re-evaluate. This has kept me from the endless cycle of second-guessing and overthinking that can be so exhausting in motherhood.
There’s often more than one “right” decision, and we don’t need to keep questioning ourselves if we’ve already felt peace about a choice. Trust that God will lead you and that you are making the best decision for your family in this season.
3. Limit the Flow of Information
These days, there is an overwhelming amount of parenting advice available. Books, podcasts, social media accounts—there’s always a new method or approach being recommended. While it can be helpful, it can also be too much.
Historically, moms didn’t have access to thousands of different parenting opinions at their fingertips. They had a small community of women to turn to, and that was enough. I believe God designed us to parent in community, not with unlimited online input.
Early in motherhood, I decided I would only follow one trusted resource per topic—one book, one podcast, one mentor. If I ever felt I needed more information, I would seek it out. But I refused to drown myself in endless research and opinions. You don’t need all the information—you just need a good option that brings peace to your family.
4. Limit Comparison
Along with limiting information, we also need to limit our temptation to compare. If you’ve made a decision that feels right for your family but struggle with doubt when you see other moms doing things differently, it might be time to set some boundaries.
This might mean muting certain accounts on social media, stepping away from a particular conversation, or even keeping some of your parenting choices private. If you’re at peace with your decision to co-sleep, for example, but you know discussing it with certain people will lead to unnecessary stress, it’s okay to keep that decision between you and your spouse for now.
You don’t need to ask what every other mom is doing. If you already feel confident in a choice, there’s no need to invite doubt into the mix.
5. Choose What Matters Most
You cannot be an A+ mom in every single area. You can be a good mom in all areas, but you can only excel in a few. And that’s okay!
I used to follow experts in baby sleep, elimination communication, Montessori play, independent toddler skills, early swimming—basically, every niche of motherhood you can imagine. In my mind, I thought I needed to do all those things at the highest level.
But the truth is, the mom teaching her 18-month-old to swim might not be spending hours cooking everything from scratch. The mom potty training her infant might not be prioritizing independent play. You don’t have to be excellent in every category. Pick what matters most to you and let the rest go.
6. Remember: Not Everything Is That Serious
I know it feels serious—sleep schedules, potty training, toddler tantrums. But the things you’re stressing over now? In six months, you might barely remember them. In five years, they likely won’t matter at all.
When you’re debating whether to correct a certain behavior, ask yourself: Will this matter in five years? Some things are heart issues that need to be addressed. Others are just part of childhood. Keep the long-term perspective in mind, and don’t let today’s worries steal your joy.
Final Thoughts
So, when you’re struggling with mom guilt, feeling like you’re getting it all wrong, here’s what I encourage you to do:
Take it to God – Ask Him for wisdom and clarity.
Find your compass – Decide what will guide your parenting decisions (for me, it’s peace!).
Limit incoming information – Stick to one trusted resource at a time.
Limit comparison – Focus on what works for your family.
Choose what matters – Prioritize the areas that align with your values.
Remember: Not everything is that serious – Keep a long-term perspective.
I hope this encourages you today and helps you walk in confidence as a mom.
If Bible reading is an area where you struggle with guilt, I want to invite you to check out my devotional for toddler moms, Bible Time Take Back. It’s a 21-day devotional designed to help you spend more time in God’s Word without the weight of guilt. You can find it on Amazon in paperback or on Kindle.
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